This is a sad and hard story to tell but one Elizabeth deserves to be told.I
am married to Elizabeth's birth daddy and as such love her as my own
daughter.Please remember as you read this story we don't always have control
over the direction others would choose for our lives to take and decisions
others might make.
My husband,Scott was only 18 when he found out he was to be a daddy the
first time and his then girlfriend was younger still.Not an ideal situation
to find oneself in but one we are all to familiar with these days.He was of
course shocked at first but very quickly looked forward to the idea of a
child of his own with someone he greatly cared about.His parents were
tremendously supportive and between them and him decided they could happily
help raise this baby and give both the baby and her mommy everything she
needed.
However the mommy's parents were not so supportive and decided for the sake
of saving themselves great embarresment they didn't want this sweet child
born and so she should not keep the child.Over the next few weeks my husband
and his family begged and pleaded for this childs life.For a while it seemed
the babies momma would come around to their wanting the baby and realise she
didn't have to face this alone and that despite her own parents refusal to
help she had as much support and love as she needed.
Scott still being excited about his child had already decided this was going
to be a little girl,a daddy's girl.He named her Elizabeth Ashley and was
looking forward to the day they would meet.
Sadly that day will be some time yet to come.When Elizabeth had only been a
part of his life for 8 way to short weeks his girlfriend went with her
mother and terminated the pregnancy without Scotts knowledge or consent.To
add to his already overwhelming sadness she picked his 19th birthday to
carry out this awful act.
Since then it has been hard for Scott to talk about his daughter.His heart
aches for her always and he has so much guilt because he couldn't save her
and be there for her when she needed him.Its a guilt all parents of lost
children feel whether they should or not and i truly feel in this case Scott
did all he could possibly do.Elizabeth hasn't always been talked about in
the way she deserves or remembered by anyone but her daddy for way to long a
time and so now we have decided to share her with the world.
I am not her birth momma,if i were she would be here where she
belongs.Instead she flies in Heaven on golden angel wings with far to many
other sweet angels including her half brother Daniel,my son,lost in 1992 to
anencephaly.I have decided to acknowledge Elizabeth as my own daughter in
the same way Scott has taken on my children after our marriage.I hope she
knows how much THIS mommy loves her and that even though i wasn't there to
fight for her life then i will honor her memory now.
Scott loves and misses his sweet little girl and will always rememeber those
few short weeks of happiness fondly.
We hope you soar above the clouds and know how much we love you.
So Long Until Forever
It seems so far away now
Or it could have been just yesterday
The hole inside me never closes
Will the pain ever begin to fade?
Surprising joy came from fear
And it's washed all away
Mind never stops churning
Could it have been another way?
All the unanswered prayers
Lord take me in her place
All the guilt from not trying
Will she love me anyway?
I think now of moments never shared
Days in the sun when we would have played
Birthdays come and gone, growing everyday
Hair long and smile wide,
I know she'd shine so bright.
I cry inside everyday
I know I have so long to wait
Before I can see her everyday
Before I can see her forever
This poem was written My Elizabeth's Dad's Scott.
Please do not copy without his permission.
Visit my big brother Daniel who is with me in Heaven.
Elizabeth Ashley Heath.
